File Fixer Pillows

'I told him over and over again never to press 'delete' more than twice!'

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

'I am willing to concede that the company has been underperforming of late...'

"I hoped you'd change your hobby when you became a father"

"It's not just him. The whole system's down."

Waiting for Pants

Delivering red ink to the Berueu of Management and Budget.

"We probably need to rethink our revenue strategy for the practice."

System failure - calling for sysadmin...

"It got so bad that had to bring Jones in to turn things around."

'Of course we can fix your sweater but we'll have to contact the sheep to match the wool!'

"Post-holiday dieting will be much easier this year. Our disposable cash flow will be diverted."

'Let me tell you why I'm here...'

"Well there it is in black and white gentlemen, we're in the red."

'Bob will be with you in a moment. He's cleaning the filter to the wine-aroma-judging-device attached to his face.'

"Get back here and clean out your desk."

"They call you Abominable and me a monster, and they don't even know us."

"It's time to break up the company!!"

Cyber disease.

"It ain't pretty. You got a bad flap-valve leak, and your tenor drones are all gunked up. It'll be a week at least, IF I can get the parts. I do got a loaner, but she ain't much."

"It's quite alright searching for the perfect phone. But remember there always will be upgrades."

'Agreed then? Your boy takes a dive in the fifth...'

'He was a darn fine mechanic.'

'Hello, Biggo Farm Equipment? How much longer is it going to take to get my manure spreader fixed?'

Young Roger Penrose: 'Dad, I want to become a floor tiler.'

"You've come to the right lawyer. I not only do divorces, I also specialise in bankruptcy proceedings."

'Is the drain still clogged, Henry?'

'You've done a fine job throwing money at problems, Senator, but I think it's time to bring in a reliever.'

"The problem with our marriage is that we can't afford marriage counselling."

"Have you tried switching it off and switching it back on again - or pretending there's absolutely nothing wrong with it?"