Digital Fixers Pillows

"It's not just him. The whole system's down."

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

'I am willing to concede that the company has been underperforming of late...'

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

'Incredibly Inexpensive Sound Engineers. Pretty Good Sound Engineers, 12 the price, 23 the quality. You'll hardly notice the occasional feedback.'

His verbal skills are developing, but his motor skills are very advanced. (Originally published on 2009-02-01).

"Fido's determined to find that bone."

Computer operator welding machine.

Delivering red ink to the Berueu of Management and Budget.

Forgot your locker combination? Let Sammy the weasel pick it open for you!

Not all service desk staff were pleased about the new bring your own device policy

"We probably need to rethink our revenue strategy for the practice."

"Post-holiday dieting will be much easier this year. Our disposable cash flow will be diverted."

"It got so bad that had to bring Jones in to turn things around."

'I told him over and over again never to press 'delete' more than twice!'

'Let me tell you why I'm here...'

"Well there it is in black and white gentlemen, we're in the red."

"Get back here and clean out your desk."

'The computer's down again.'

Son? We need to talk about inappropriate life choices. I was joking. I'm not going to be an investment banker. Great! I'd hate to see you waste your talents. There are plenty of other jobs. Like the fixer who disappears famous athletes' awkward e-mails. You'll always be employed.

"It's time to break up the company!!"

"It's quite alright searching for the perfect phone. But remember there always will be upgrades."

'Agreed then? Your boy takes a dive in the fifth...'

Marriage counselor clients: 'Always right,,,never wrong'

'Try rebooting.'

"You've come to the right lawyer. I not only do divorces, I also specialise in bankruptcy proceedings."

"This office is state of the art. Human error has been replaced by computer glitches."

Young Roger Penrose: 'Dad, I want to become a floor tiler.'

'Is the drain still clogged, Henry?'

"You were right, dear, slippers, shiny floor and a grouting gun don't mix."

'You've done a fine job throwing money at problems, Senator, but I think it's time to bring in a reliever.'

"The problem with our marriage is that we can't afford marriage counselling."

To continue with tech support, you must be in front of your computer and have a soldering iron, a voltmeter and a circuit tester available.

"Have you tried switching it off and switching it back on again - or pretending there's absolutely nothing wrong with it?"

11 Ways To Avoid Chapter 11.