Digital Blunder Fixer Pillows

'I sent the wrong email by mistake - I'm trying to get it back!'

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

"It's not just him. The whole system's down."

'Incredibly Inexpensive Sound Engineers. Pretty Good Sound Engineers, 12 the price, 23 the quality. You'll hardly notice the occasional feedback.'

"Fido's determined to find that bone."

"I need a special pencil for math...one with a lot less wood and a lot more eraser."

Forgot your locker combination? Let Sammy the weasel pick it open for you!

'I accidentally hacked into Mom's microwave oven.'

Not all service desk staff were pleased about the new bring your own device policy

System failure - calling for sysadmin...

'I told him over and over again never to press 'delete' more than twice!'

Son? We need to talk about inappropriate life choices. I was joking. I'm not going to be an investment banker. Great! I'd hate to see you waste your talents. There are plenty of other jobs. Like the fixer who disappears famous athletes' awkward e-mails. You'll always be employed.

Cyber disease.

"We will indeed be facing numerous enraged customers."

"Huh, I've spent weeks trying to figure this out, and all I had to do was push that little button. She's on now though boy! Look at her go!"

'Try rebooting.'

'Is the drain still clogged, Henry?'

'84% of our losses are due to accounting errors.'

"Have you tried switching it off and switching it back on again - or pretending there's absolutely nothing wrong with it?"

'Your fireplace needs a flue shot.'

"I had to improvise"

'The readings look good, but just in case, when was the last time the system was checked for bugs?'

'If we happen to experience deja vu, let's make sure we do some things differently.'

'I guess it's official now. No one in this town actually makes anything anymore.'

'That's one way to 'shut down' the system...'

Boss, someone called The Fixer is here to see you. Excellent. Go out and tell him I want him to teach you everything he knows. I don't see why I should have to keep paying him when I've got my very own minion. Pay extra attention to the issue vague threats to shut down lawsuits part. If he asks why I didn't fire him myself, you tell him I've moved to Botswana. Very bad man.

Accounting makes a 300 million dollar error, yet they always nail me on my expense account.

"If you want proof that your email is working again, then you can read all the spam you just received."

Boy with his finger in a leaking water bed.

"This Michael Cohen is giving fixers a bad name."

Man bangs on a malfunctioning bathroom mirror to get his reflection to show.

"Yeah, I called. . . my computer crashed."

'Did you gt a CSS Redundancy Checker?'

"It's another Sicilian message. It means 'Please disregard the previous Sicilian message - it was inadvertently sent to everyone on our list."

'You have entered the wrong password. Please hold while we transfer you to klutz support.'