Communication Fixer Pillows

Marriage counselor clients: 'Always right,,,never wrong'

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

'I am willing to concede that the company has been underperforming of late...'

'Come on, you can make it work! You're supposed to be Lovebirds after all...'

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

"I don't know who you are!"

"It's not just him. The whole system's down."

'Incredibly Inexpensive Sound Engineers. Pretty Good Sound Engineers, 12 the price, 23 the quality. You'll hardly notice the occasional feedback.'

His verbal skills are developing, but his motor skills are very advanced. (Originally published on 2009-02-01).

Delivering red ink to the Berueu of Management and Budget.

Forgot your locker combination? Let Sammy the weasel pick it open for you!

"I thought you were out front telling the fence company how to do their job."

Not all service desk staff were pleased about the new bring your own device policy

"We probably need to rethink our revenue strategy for the practice."

Philip Nye – cycle chiropractor

MD - Cosmetic Surgery and Investment Portfolio Makeovers.

"It got so bad that had to bring Jones in to turn things around."

"Post-holiday dieting will be much easier this year. Our disposable cash flow will be diverted."

"I bit someone once, but It was just to establish credibility."

'Let me tell you why I'm here...'

"Well there it is in black and white gentlemen, we're in the red."

'My wife doesn't understand me.'

"Get back here and clean out your desk."

"I'd like to get something for my wife. Do you have any olive branches?"

"Whoa. Jeff. You snagged your sweater."

Son? We need to talk about inappropriate life choices. I was joking. I'm not going to be an investment banker. Great! I'd hate to see you waste your talents. There are plenty of other jobs. Like the fixer who disappears famous athletes' awkward e-mails. You'll always be employed.

Man looks for wife help from machine.

"You can't leave! I haven't had dinner yet!"

"Our marriage has been experiencing a spot of turbulence lately."

"It's time to break up the company!!"

"For financial reasons we're selling this brick and mortar home and becoming an online family."

"Nope - ya know what they say - an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure..."

'That's your solution to everything, isn't it? Throw a bucket of glitter over it.'

"It's quite alright searching for the perfect phone. But remember there always will be upgrades."

Your Uncle Mort and Sadie are back from Canada. Are they still getting married? Yeah, but they're slowing things down. They're going to talk to someone about their problems. A counselor is always a good idea. They couldn't exactly afford a professional. He doesn't put the bathroom seat down.