Fielding Enthusiast Gifts

"Will the witness please refrain from shagging flies."

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

350 Feet.

Alternative fielding positions

'Why couldn't you throw like that in the game?'

Perils of the double play.

"My wife wanted to see a diamond. So I took her to a ballgame."

Bases loaded, no outs. And coach once again turns to his trusty golden reliever.

'OK, now let's switch places.'

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

"They'll be expecting adagio. Go with the allegro."

Official Team Cap With Beard

'Here we go again...'

Extra innings.

A Little Long Jumper.

Pole Vault Rules

Goodbye Opiate of the Masses

'Here is is. 'Vicarious: imagined participation in another's experience' ... it doesn't mean you actually get to play on your son's team.'

"We would have won if it hadn't been for the other team."

'I'll take the one on the right.'

"Jessica has an idea about going to the beach that she'd like to pitch you."

Baseball Dreams

'It's only four acres but we're glad we bought it - he's always wanted to be an expert in his own field.'

'It took some doing, but we got your name on!'

"Did you honestly expect our couples therapist to know when Jacoby Ellsbury will be off the disabled list?!"

Trapped on the Pole Vault.

Football.

Stadium. No fans allowed. In baseball, "shutout" now has two meanings.

'God, quick! Give me the gift of the gab.'

"Get the meat loaf—I hit it out of the park today."

'Since the playing field was sold off we've become a centre of excellence for one-a-side football.'

"Dear, there's someone here to collect your soul."

High Jump

'Well, I'm glad to have you with us!'