Fielding Enthusiast T-Shirts

"Will the witness please refrain from shagging flies."

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

Alternative fielding positions

'Why couldn't you throw like that in the game?'

Perils of the double play.

"My wife wanted to see a diamond. So I took her to a ballgame."

Bases loaded, no outs. And coach once again turns to his trusty golden reliever.

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

'OK, now let's switch places.'

"They'll be expecting adagio. Go with the allegro."

A Little Long Jumper.

'Here we go again...'

Official Team Cap With Beard

'Here is is. 'Vicarious: imagined participation in another's experience' ... it doesn't mean you actually get to play on your son's team.'

"We would have won if it hadn't been for the other team."

'I'll take the one on the right.'

"Jessica has an idea about going to the beach that she'd like to pitch you."

'Since the playing field was sold off we've become a centre of excellence for one-a-side football.'

Football.

'God, quick! Give me the gift of the gab.'

Trapped on the Pole Vault.

'It took some doing, but we got your name on!'

'It's only four acres but we're glad we bought it - he's always wanted to be an expert in his own field.'

"Did you honestly expect our couples therapist to know when Jacoby Ellsbury will be off the disabled list?!"

"Get the meat loaf—I hit it out of the park today."

Baseball Dreams

"Dear, there's someone here to collect your soul."

High Jump

'Well, I'm glad to have you with us!'

"Sorry, boss, I do care if I ever get back — that was just the peanuts and Cracker Jack talking."