Fielding Aficionado Gifts

'I always dream about cricket, all night every night.'

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

"Alright! Whoa! Yes! More boiled food!"

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

'Why couldn't you throw like that in the game?'

Alternative fielding positions

Political Candidates' Playbook Signals from the sidelines

'It's cutting edge theatre.'

Vendor selling testosterone.

'Marm doesn't understand, 'I've got it, I've got it'.'

"Are there any here today who feel this union is not in the best interests of baseball?"

"Think of me as the designated sitter."

"Try letting the ball come to you."

'Here we go again...'

'Talk about ridiculous... we can spot a mouse a mile away, and still can't read a darn newspaper!'

'I let my merit badges do the talking.'

"Easy on the fast balls, will you, kid?"

Baseball.

'Since the playing field was sold off we've become a centre of excellence for one-a-side football.'

'It's only four acres but we're glad we bought it - he's always wanted to be an expert in his own field.'

'The meat of their order is coming up.'

Whatever works for you.

High Jump

'The manager takes the pitcher out of the game'

'No glove. No hat. No shoes. ... I'm sorry, Andy, but I'm bringing in a new pitcher. You just don't have your stuff today.'

'I committed the sin of pride. I've been gloating over how our church baseball team waxed yours.'

'Do you mind checking my screech for typos?'

Ahhh, spring baseball.

Clinic. Let's see … Have there been any injuries, digestive disorders or malpractice suits today? Nope - No hits, no runs, no errors.

"I'll be on the porch, pushing ninety."

Balk? Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk!

Ref shows footballer green card.

"Sure, I'm a fan but I don't think I'm rabid."

"Hey, Mister, can we have our hairball back?"

"Always remember - what happens in the pea-green boat stays in the pea-green boat."