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"What do you mean, we don't have an 'exit strategy'?!"

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

"One year closer to college!"

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

''Animal Farm' by George Orwell is definitely my favourite book...'

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN! "It was mostly okay, but there's way too much micromanagement!"

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

Life after death

"I'm not going to lie. It took a large speaker's fee to get me to say your future is bright."

'All dogs have 4 legs. Tabby has 4 legs. But I'm just a kid, so I don't have to think logically.'

The Boys of Indian Summer

"I went back to warn them, but they already knew and didn't seem to care."

"Oh, the crystal ball rolled off and fell right on my foot! Didn't see it coming!"

"You'll get over him."

It MUST be Valentines Day!

Grass: We lost some good men today!

"I attempted to circumvent the traditional trappings of a teen furlough...but I was thwarted by my czar-ish parental unit."

'When they start calling you a splendid bird, you know you're in trouble.'

'Someday, when our pre-frontal cortexes are fully developed, we'll look back on this and shake our heads.'

War on drugs... war on terror... war on lima beans.

'A little madness in the Spring is wholesome even for the King' -Emily Dickinson.

"You forgot to adjust your hilling discs again, didn't you?"

'I may charge a lot but you get much more through me. I'm a psychic large.'

Think we knew each other in a past life, Randy? I don't believe in past lives. In fact, I don't believe in the past. Or the future I don't even believe in right now. Everyone remembers the past differently. Everyone imagines the future differently. Everyone even disagrees about what's happening right now. So who's to say tomorrow what you and I did tonight? ... Sorry, that's Randy's line #42. Reflex. Wait, let me write that down.

"I swear, we spend more time decided which squirrel to bark at than we do actually barking at it."

"Time travel is real, but only forward and very slowly."

Dept. de Philosophie

'I'd like to participate in gym class, but I'm afraid I'll get overheated and contribute to the global warming problem.'

'I owe all my drive, ambition, and dedication to student debt.'

'Don't follow my example and become a beast of burden: Study hard at school!'

Poultry Reading: 'Lo, Ye Sky, It Falls! Verily it does, watch ye out!'

'I've been experiencing a lot of deja moo.'

'I don't feel at home on the range any more!'

"In the Wild Wild West, we say, if it isn't yours, DON'T TAKE IT..."