Fictional Book Aficionado T-Shirts

'I got a B+ formy book report on 'Danger Mountain' by Warren Esterson. Not bad, considering there's no such book.'

I should be a writer when I grow up...

"Meet The Author"

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

Edgar Allen Poe

Reading my Critics

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

Extinction of the dinosaurs fully explained

"I try to write a little bit every day."

Trilby - 'The old studio'.

'Don't worry, you're safe. I started my diet today.'

"That's her - that's the girl who broke into our house! But her hair was 'goldier'."

Charles Darwin Book Signing.

"If I Can Make One Critic Smile..."

"No—You're thinking dog years—Editor years are twice as many."

"Hmm...I can see a best-selling book and a movie deal out of this..."

"No chips, but I did snag the new Hiaasen."

"There appears to be a flaw in our cloaking technology."

Doctor Frankenstein creates a new monster that makes the mob even more blood thirsty. Colour

Archeologist Deciphers Limerick Heiroglyphs

What Harper Lee's REALLY been up to all these years

'Meet the author with her collaborators'

"You have no idea what it's like to be a 'just between you and me' person in a 'just between you and I' world."

'Sorry, Marx, but your writing ability doesn't meet our needs.'

"He was a big man, but he moved like a cat."

'He wrote a whole book on how to play a slot machine. I'm anxious for his next one: How to Set an Alarm Clock.'

Frontispiece to 'Dombey and Son'

Ironing Punctuation

'He speaks for our entire generation. Pity he's such a bore...'

My Literary Influences