Fictional Book Aficionado T-Shirts

'I got a B+ formy book report on 'Danger Mountain' by Warren Esterson. Not bad, considering there's no such book.'

I should be a writer when I grow up...

"Meet The Author"

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

Edgar Allen Poe

Victor Hugo

Reading my Critics

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

Extinction of the dinosaurs fully explained

"I try to write a little bit every day."

Gunter Grass

Stephen Spender.

Trilby - 'The old studio'.

"That's her - that's the girl who broke into our house! But her hair was 'goldier'."

'Don't worry, you're safe. I started my diet today.'

Charles Darwin Book Signing.

What Harper Lee's REALLY been up to all these years

"If I Can Make One Critic Smile..."

"Hmm...I can see a best-selling book and a movie deal out of this..."

"There appears to be a flaw in our cloaking technology."

"No—You're thinking dog years—Editor years are twice as many."

Doctor Frankenstein creates a new monster that makes the mob even more blood thirsty. Colour

Günter Grass

'Meet the author with her collaborators'

Archeologist Deciphers Limerick Heiroglyphs

"No chips, but I did snag the new Hiaasen."

"You have no idea what it's like to be a 'just between you and me' person in a 'just between you and I' world."

"He was a big man, but he moved like a cat."

'Sorry, Marx, but your writing ability doesn't meet our needs.'

Noel Coward.

"Wait, wait, back up, back up. Who the #!@! is George Orwell?"

My Literary Influences

'He wrote a whole book on how to play a slot machine. I'm anxious for his next one: How to Set an Alarm Clock.'

'He speaks for our entire generation. Pity he's such a bore...'

Trilby - 'The sweet melodic phrase.'