Fiber Optics Fanatic Gifts

Building sees 'Fiber optics' in crystal ball

"I think I may have stumbled on something, Walpole."

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

"The sweater you knit him will be thrown out in February."

Cat rolls up yarn like power cord.

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

"I've had these glasses since I was a kid, when my doctor told me I'd grow into them..."

"Do you have any knitting patterns for somebody who can only count to five?"

Hospital Departments

'It's Blurred.'

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

Knitted Kitty.

"They have oat fiber, wheat fiber, and rice fiber, but no moral fiber."

"Here's your sweater back."

Musical Eye Test

'You say you're having trouble seeing into the future'

Sawdust.

'I gave her that ball of yarn...'

'No thanks. I'm just squinting...'

House of Beans - No Smoking.

'Crikey, you've got to have good eye-sight to look through those glasses, haven't you?'

'You're eating too much roughage.'

'I have way too much respect and dignity to dye the grey out of my hair... so instead could you all just put on these brown-tinted glasses.'

'I can't see anything through these ridiculous tiny slits, I'll take them.'

'It says, 'If you want more fiber, eat the package.'

'Yes, it is a carrot. You haven't been getting enough fibre.'

"Thanks to my new glasses, I can enjoy a good old "bird's eye view" again..."

'You've haed the eye exam. Now buy the t-shirt!'

'I can't wait for a generic version of eyes of newts to come out.'

KNITEO ERGO SUM!

'I can't work out why I keep getting these blinding headaches!'

'Transylvania's most famous Optometrist 'Count Macula'.

'Now that's what I CALL a spectacle case.'