Feudal Enthusiast T-Shirts

'I used to have serfs, but I've found that free-range peasants are more efficient.'

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

Frontispiece to the first volume of 'Master Humphrey's Clock'

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

"I guess I'm more of a why-wolf."

"We're following Carrot Top."

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

'Of all the nerve!...Making us sit through the whole of their Bayeux Tapestries!!'

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

Knight feeding his kids.

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

Servant brings king skateboard on pillow.

A vampire in a canoe.

"So the white whale was really just a metaphor for your mother's lack of affection?"

"... And this one needs a shot of vodka."

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

Joust Sharpener

"The knights of the round accent table"

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

"When I ask questions, I expect answers!"

'Isn't it cute the way they compete so hard?'

TV jester.

"Oh great, the printer is down."

In case of emergency - use tin opener...

"Take the off this minute, young lady."

'When I met him he was all bright and shiny - now he's a rust bucket.'

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

'He's been brought in to save the company.'

'Good work pulling the sword from the stone. Now, how 'bout loosening the lid on the magic pickle jar?'

Sir gawain had been duped....it was a damson in distress

"Oh, this? Crazy story..."

underwater knight

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.