Feudal Enthusiast Gifts

'I used to have serfs, but I've found that free-range peasants are more efficient.'

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

Frontispiece to the first volume of 'Master Humphrey's Clock'

"We're following Carrot Top."

"I guess I'm more of a why-wolf."

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

Knight feeding his kids.

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

Servant brings king skateboard on pillow.

A vampire in a canoe.

Joust Sharpener

"When I ask questions, I expect answers!"

TV jester.

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

"The knights of the round accent table"

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

'Isn't it cute the way they compete so hard?'

"... And this one needs a shot of vodka."

"Oh great, the printer is down."

"Messenger, dost thou bring me good news or dost thou bring me bad news?"

'Good work pulling the sword from the stone. Now, how 'bout loosening the lid on the magic pickle jar?'

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

In case of emergency - use tin opener...

Sir gawain had been duped....it was a damson in distress

"Oh, this? Crazy story..."

underwater knight

Knights of the bedside table.

"Take the off this minute, young lady."

'When I met him he was all bright and shiny - now he's a rust bucket.'