Festive Security Buff Gifts

"I swear, they will pay for what happened to Rudolph!"

High security Santa's grotto

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

"OK, you're good and just the guy we need in security."

"It's a fantastic computer! It's so old that none of today's hackers know how to hack it!"

'Best watchdog I ever had!'

"Then you just run a VLOOKUP against the Naughty column."

Aggression/Security

'And in local news: Someone is hiding behind the drapes.'

Father Christmas uses laptop on roof. Man says: 'I think someone is stealing our wi-fi.'

'What the … ? How did those thugs get into my car?'

'It's a foolproof computer network, sir, that no one can break into, not even a kid.'

"I like to think of myself as a vital link in the homeland-security system."

'A-1 security from crime ... but can't stand the isolation.'

TSA

'Arnold, blow the whole depot, then hightail it out of here.'

Eurocopa 2016

'Done! We're now on Santa's 'nice' list.'

"Sorry, your password must have at least nine characters, with both letters and numbers."

"My phone has two step authorization. Facial and Backside recognition"

"If you're not planning to break the law, why should you care?"

The Fort Knox Gold Depository has a key under the mat

'Dad, why didn't the three bears' have a home security system?'

"To prove I'm human, and not a spam bot, this site wants me to solve the mystery of the universe. Why couldn't they just ask if fire is hot or cold?"

"I'm sorry, Inspector Lestrade, but for reasons which I confess are sentimental, I feel I must, just this once, decline my services to Scotland Yard."

'I hear a burglar downstairs, the poor fool.'

Dept. of cyber friendship.

'Can I see some ID?' - 'I'm your husband you dope.'

Facial Recognition Software Installed

'Best guard dog we've ever had!'

'A word of warning

"Really? A password for a jar of pickles??"

"This app encrypts verbal communications. My doctor's handwriting is all we need to encrypt everything else."