Festive Security Buff T-Shirts

"I swear, they will pay for what happened to Rudolph!"

High security Santa's grotto

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

"OK, you're good and just the guy we need in security."

"That? It's where I keep all my passwords."

'Best watchdog I ever had!'

"It's a fantastic computer! It's so old that none of today's hackers know how to hack it!"

"Then you just run a VLOOKUP against the Naughty column."

The Best Defense

Aggression/Security

'And in local news: Someone is hiding behind the drapes.'

Father Christmas uses laptop on roof. Man says: 'I think someone is stealing our wi-fi.'

'What the … ? How did those thugs get into my car?'

'It's a foolproof computer network, sir, that no one can break into, not even a kid.'

'A-1 security from crime ... but can't stand the isolation.'

"I like to think of myself as a vital link in the homeland-security system."

Huawei Five-O

TSA

Eurocopa 2016

'Arnold, blow the whole depot, then hightail it out of here.'

'Done! We're now on Santa's 'nice' list.'

"My phone has two step authorization. Facial and Backside recognition"

"Sorry, your password must have at least nine characters, with both letters and numbers."

"If you're not planning to break the law, why should you care?"

The Fort Knox Gold Depository has a key under the mat

'Dad, why didn't the three bears' have a home security system?'

Dept. of cyber friendship.

"I'm sorry, Inspector Lestrade, but for reasons which I confess are sentimental, I feel I must, just this once, decline my services to Scotland Yard."

"To prove I'm human, and not a spam bot, this site wants me to solve the mystery of the universe. Why couldn't they just ask if fire is hot or cold?"

'I hear a burglar downstairs, the poor fool.'

'I wouldn't do that if I were you, mister. This saloon is made entirely of ninjas.'

Facial Recognition Software Installed

'We video all these trick or treat transactions...for security reasons.'

'Best guard dog we've ever had!'

'Can I see some ID?' - 'I'm your husband you dope.'