Festive Season Filmer Pillows

Ticker-Ticker Timex Tra-La-La!

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

"One more time, Mr Claus - who sold you the data?"

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

"We don't care about his nose. We won't let him play because he's not vaccinated and won't wear a mask!"

Happy Holidays from Sanitary Claus!

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

Frosting the Snowman

"Why would I want to meet Santa? I can just go home and log onto his social media page from the comfort of my bed."

'Do I get to take an 'elfie' with Santa, too?'

"Well, I have an opening in Cloverdale Mall ... let me hear you say Ho Ho Ho."

"We'll see how it goes. It's Santa's first year with the genetically modified deer."

Classic Emojis for sale.

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

"Could you help me fit nine days work into five and still see my family?"

Easter Egg Delivery

"Darling, do you remember where I put the insurance policies?"

'Oh that's weird! i just had a shiver go down my wallet. My wife must have just bought something.'

"We can do it on the net now... so it's off to the knackery for you."

Happy New Ear!

'Leave the Iranian airspace at once!'

"Will you only promise the children toys that can be brought at this store?"

He Sees You When You're Sleeping

Santa Elevator

Papa, how come Rudolph has a red nose? Because he's a drunk, son. Plain and simple.

Safe Christmas.

Great Moment in North Pole History

"And if you don't know what to say, just say, 'Ho, ho, ho!''

'Yes, I think you better had ask Santa for it. Because there's no way I could afford to buy it.'

Accept cookies?

"I don't care what your father said, Santa likes milk and cookies NOT beer and pretzels!"