Festive Pun Enthusiasts Gifts

'Mince spy?'

"The eggnog fountain is a bad idea."

Well... Tis the season to be jolly!

"And my client will be seeking significant damages for being mistakenly placed in the naughty column!"

'Maybe there is something in all this global warming stuff.'

Snowman in hospital bed with snow globe I.V.

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

A Creature WAS Stirring

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

"We don't use good and bad lists anymore. Now we have stupid, really stupid and completely nuts lists."

'I get that reaction a lot.'

'How 'bout you come back and say that to me in he spring?'

'According to his will, Tiddles left the bulk of his estate to himself. Because, he still has eight lives left.'

Accept cookies?

North Pole.

"Sorry I'm late. We were delayed when Rudolph caught a drone in his antlers."

"Your four-o'clock is here."

"Doesn't it seem like we just finished letting the air out of last year's tree?"

"Something that makes me look unfit for human consumption."

"You've got a fairy light at the back."

Santa incorporates therapy into his repertoire.

Third eye

Vaccine Reindeer

'I can't come out and play because I'm in 'Time-Out.' Although here at Grandma's it's more like 'Time-Out Lite.' '

One of Santa's elves is crushed to death by a present in the workshop, ruining the 364 days of 'Elf and Safety'.

'I see management bonuses remain unaffected again this year.'

Baby Cheeses.

"It doesn't feel like Christmas. So, I'm drinking until it does."

'We don't work on Christmas. You can celebrate the holidays with your family!'

SEE SANTA, ''Happy Holidays'? -- Don't tell me YOU'RE getting politically correct, now?'

Secret agents exchange Christmas greetings.

"That's the only letter you received in the mail. Kids no longer write letters. They email or text."