Festive Pun Enthusiast Gifts

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Man sits outside an STD clinic thinking of the twelve days of Christmas.

North Pole.

"Well, Blitzen is feeling a little low, so in her place I'm trying her brother, Blitzkrieg."

A Creature WAS Stirring

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"The eggnog fountain is a bad idea."

Well... Tis the season to be jolly!

"And my client will be seeking significant damages for being mistakenly placed in the naughty column!"

Snowman in hospital bed with snow globe I.V.

'Maybe there is something in all this global warming stuff.'

'I see adventure in your future. Yes. You're going to be a culinary adventure.'

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

Carpool lane (a car driving into a long pool).

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?

'I get that reaction a lot.'

'It's a snow mobile.'

Kind- hearted, nature-loving Jeff built a new improved bird table.

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

'I'm writing you a prescription for some people soup.'

"And another thing, it's real cool in the summer!"

'How 'bout you come back and say that to me in he spring?'

'In the circumstances, I think we should skip the housewarming party.'

"I washed my kilt last night , now I can't do a fling with it!"

"I said, ‘I hit on your sister!’"

"Doesn't it seem like we just finished letting the air out of last year's tree?"

"Of course you're bored, sweetie. It's the fin de siècle."

"Something that makes me look unfit for human consumption."

'You give me goose bumps!'

Weather forecast

"Sorry I'm late. We were delayed when Rudolph caught a drone in his antlers."

"Waiter, there aren't any flies in my soup!"

The static electric eel is very rare.

'It's for my teacher. Do you have one with love spelled right?'