Festive Pun Enthusiast Prints

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Man sits outside an STD clinic thinking of the twelve days of Christmas.

'You have mistle-TOE.'

North Pole.

"Well, Blitzen is feeling a little low, so in her place I'm trying her brother, Blitzkrieg."

A Creature WAS Stirring

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"The eggnog fountain is a bad idea."

Well... Tis the season to be jolly!

"And my client will be seeking significant damages for being mistakenly placed in the naughty column!"

"He refuses to use these now they've made them gender nonspecific."

'Maybe there is something in all this global warming stuff.'

Snowman in hospital bed with snow globe I.V.

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

'I see adventure in your future. Yes. You're going to be a culinary adventure.'

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

Carpool lane (a car driving into a long pool).

'It's a snow mobile.'

'I get that reaction a lot.'

Ghost Scare-apy Sessions

Kind- hearted, nature-loving Jeff built a new improved bird table.

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?

'I'm writing you a prescription for some people soup.'

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

"And another thing, it's real cool in the summer!"

'How 'bout you come back and say that to me in he spring?'

'In the circumstances, I think we should skip the housewarming party.'

"I washed my kilt last night , now I can't do a fling with it!"

"Of course you're bored, sweetie. It's the fin de siècle."

Weather forecast

"Waiter, there aren't any flies in my soup!"

"I said, ‘I hit on your sister!’"

'You give me goose bumps!'

"Doesn't it seem like we just finished letting the air out of last year's tree?"

The static electric eel is very rare.