Festive Historians Pillows

"Three kings and we still can't get a room upgrade?"

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

Happy Holidays from Sanitary Claus!

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

Bad gifts

'No, dear. I don't think the star on the Christmas tree will implode, and suck our living room into a black hole.'

"We'll see how it goes. It's Santa's first year with the genetically modified deer."

Classic Emojis for sale.

Help! Have to pay back a big world bank loan.

"Just as I feared. Tariffs."

Old fashioned Christmas shopping

'Naughty? Nice? Santa, I don't deal in absolutes.'

"Who cares what little kids think? What's important is that you believe in yourself."

'I don't believe in myself any more.'

'Due to budget cuts we are having to take on more temporary staff.'

Safe Christmas.

"At the Christmas Artifacts Museum"

"I'd like to thank everyone who believed in me."

'No, I'm not writing to Santa, I'm writing a blog questioning the validity of Santa, since he has no web presence.'

Santa and reindeer in line with shadows

There IS a Santa Claus.

'I feel so much safer with an air marshal on board.'

"I never expected to collide into you!"

The composer of the 'Twelve Days of Christmas' song.

'So, there really is a Higgs Boson?'

It was brighter than most, and Biggins allowed himself a quiet smile as he contemplated the immense speeds involved as it burned itself up in the atmosphere...

It happened on Christmas Eve

"I like the Easter Bunny - I find him less judgmental than Santa Claus."

" ... And the kids only like me for my presents."

"Repent, lest the axe of judgement fall upon thee."

"The year may be over, but it'll be dragged back up on history tests for years to come."

"This weekend is seriously messing with some of my previously held beliefs."

'Sorry - I left the naughty kid files on the train.'