Festive Historian Pillows

'You do realise this means 2000 years of Christmas records.'

"He's been around since the sixties."

'I feel so much safer with an air marshal on board.'

Christmas designs on cave wall

"December 25, 1776..."

The Thanksgiving Pageant.

Cave drawings of Santa

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

Happy Holidays from Sanitary Claus!

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

Frosting the Snowman

Mrs Claus - North Pole Dancing.

Yo ho ho!

Help! Have to pay back a big world bank loan.

"We'll see how it goes. It's Santa's first year with the genetically modified deer."

Classic Emojis for sale.

Bad gifts

'No, dear. I don't think the star on the Christmas tree will implode, and suck our living room into a black hole.'

"Just as I feared. Tariffs."

"I've had. . . um. . . just a small sherry. . ."

"As you can see, I've learned the alphabet."

'Naughty? Nice? Santa, I don't deal in absolutes.'

'Let's open presents Christmas Eve AND morning. That way Christmas lasts for TWO days.'

Old fashioned Christmas shopping

Merry Kissmas

"Who cares what little kids think? What's important is that you believe in yourself."

'I agreed to guide you, My contract says nothing about pulling a sleigh,'

'I don't believe in myself any more.'

'Due to budget cuts we are having to take on more temporary staff.'

DNA Xmas.

"Pull over, Rudolph! We'll have to charge the electric sleigh again..."

Elf of the Month

Safe Christmas.

"At the Christmas Artifacts Museum"