Festive Financial Analyst Gifts

The Bankrupts' Christmas Tree

Rudolph goes green (compact flourescent nose)

Tree in Dollar Shape.

Frosting the Snowman

"Sorry, Rudolph, but the production on electric reindeers and their batteries gives work to thousands of children while you destroy the climate with your farts."

Help! Have to pay back a big world bank loan.

'I'm dreaming of a green Christmas, with every recycled Christmas card I write...'

"Just as I feared. Tariffs."

Dollar Sign Christmas Tree.

'Twenty percent bluechips, ten percent small-caps, five percent currency hedges and the remainder in cash. Get that list to Santa right away.'

'Listen, Santa. Either you repay what you owe, or we reposses Rudolph!'

"Santa, snow is falling." "Sell snow!"

Santa using the stock exchange to keep track of stocks and bonds being good or bad as well as going up or down

There IS a Santa Claus.

'We had a white Christmas but we'll be in the red until April.'

"Smile if you're guilty!"

"O Holy night - Aye! The stars are brightly shining - YUH!"

"Santa's trying to corner the futures market for coal in anticipation of his visit to Washington."

'Reindeer must now be fitted with the government approved CZ1 catalytic converter to reduce methane emissions.'

Vendo Tree.

Records Dept. Tell them I don't use my knowledge of who's naughty or nice to make political endorsements.

Christmas card access

'We'd like to speak with you about your coal policy.'

'First I'd like to remind you of the true meaning of christmas - profits.'

'Hello, Audubon Society - This is Santa, calling in the results of the Northpole's Christmas Bird Count...'

"Twenty percent bluechips, ten percent small-caps, five percent currency hedges and the remainder in cash. Get that list to Santa right away."

Financial Christmas

Carolling

'We've drunk a Christmas toast to my portfolio, now let's drink a Christmas toast to your portfolio.'

Congregation

"An aluminum baseball bat? Are you kidding? With the tariffs, my raw material costs are up 25%. How about some soybeans?"

'Oh, that reminds me. And the polar ice caps: I want them to stop melting.'

'He sees me when I'm sleeping, he knows when I'm awake...'

While Santa's Hybrid Sled has made environmentalists and animal rights activists happy, there isn't much room left for toys.

'Now there's a perfect example of something that's not cost effective. Fire him!'