Festive Family Funster Pillows

'This is the last time we spend Christmas with your parents!'

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

"I told you. . . use your inside miming."

"Study her closely...the laughing eyes, the dimpled smile...she's got 'em right where she wants 'em."

"I can't imagine why we didn't think of this before."

"Forget the allowance - I need a benefactor!"

"Merry Christmas"

"Wheeeeeeee!"

"These few weeks off school have convinced me that I'm definitely a stay-at-home kid."

"This might take awhile, Lord."

With Grandpa it was often a game of hide and sleep.

'The puppy just downloaded on your computer keyboard.'

"I don't get it! They're both diurnal, so why on earth would they bring back from the hospital a baby that's awake all night?"

Climbing with the baby

"You think you hate me now, but just wait until I'm old and a burden to you."

'Before we begin, he's the one that's been helping me with my homework.'

'There really IS a Santa!' Santa busts pets eating his milk and cookies

'Look. A mom with a handy carrying case.'

"A raise? You want me to give you a raise? Do I look like f*ckin' Santa Claus?"

'He takes after your mother' (colour)

"We can do it on the net now... so it's off to the knackery for you."

"Please let go of Daddy's chest hair."

'Young Master and I are both turning two: How come I'm so much more mature than he is?'

"How do you like my 'Pop art'?"

'Look, honey, the baby's got your mouth.'

'No honey, you can't sell him on ebay.'

"You spoil that boy."

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

'You know when kids are good or bad? Are you with NSA?'

'Congratulations Mrs Marrow, it's a courgette.'

'Did you know that turkeys and dinosaurs are closely related? Meet my cousin, Lenny!'

The Big Tree

Santa Randy was fired and Santa Claus got the job.

"Sharp shooter, huh? Well, I was attacked by an ax murderer!"

'If Aunt Arctica is on the bottom of the world, does that mean Uncle Artica is on top of the world?'