Festive Family Funster Pillows

'This is the last time we spend Christmas with your parents!'

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

"Study her closely...the laughing eyes, the dimpled smile...she's got 'em right where she wants 'em."

"I can't imagine why we didn't think of this before."

"Forget the allowance - I need a benefactor!"

"Merry Christmas"

"Wheeeeeeee!"

"These few weeks off school have convinced me that I'm definitely a stay-at-home kid."

'The puppy just downloaded on your computer keyboard.'

"This might take awhile, Lord."

With Grandpa it was often a game of hide and sleep.

"I don't get it! They're both diurnal, so why on earth would they bring back from the hospital a baby that's awake all night?"

Climbing with the baby

"You think you hate me now, but just wait until I'm old and a burden to you."

'Before we begin, he's the one that's been helping me with my homework.'

'Look. A mom with a handy carrying case.'

'There really IS a Santa!' Santa busts pets eating his milk and cookies

"A raise? You want me to give you a raise? Do I look like f*ckin' Santa Claus?"

'He takes after your mother' (colour)

"We can do it on the net now... so it's off to the knackery for you."

"Please let go of Daddy's chest hair."

'Young Master and I are both turning two: How come I'm so much more mature than he is?'

"How do you like my 'Pop art'?"

'Congratulations Mrs Marrow, it's a courgette.'

"You spoil that boy."

The Big Tree

'You know when kids are good or bad? Are you with NSA?'

Santa Randy was fired and Santa Claus got the job.

'Did you know that turkeys and dinosaurs are closely related? Meet my cousin, Lenny!'

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

'If Aunt Arctica is on the bottom of the world, does that mean Uncle Artica is on top of the world?'

"One day you'll thank me for embarrassing you in front of the entire Internet."