Fertility Clinic Visit Gifts

Sperm Bank: Penetrations...Withdrawals.

"I guess for me family planning is just a study in fertility."

'With these alternative fertility treatments you never quite know how things turn out,'

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

Radiology, Cardiology and Fertility Clinic.

"Leapfrog is the latest craze among the kids, but experts say it contribute to declining birthrates. Find out why � after the break!"

"You need to stop pressing the snooze button on your biological clock."

"Have you considered trying for a puppy?"

Man leaves sperm bank. Woman says: 'Thanks, do come again.'

"It's perfect for starting a family."

IVF assessment centre.

"So, how long have you been trying?"

Pregnancy Test

Three Parent Baby

Fertility clinic open day - Man holding balloons shaped like sperm.

Fertility Center.

'I warned you that the fertility drugs might have side effects.'

'And once we transfer the embryo, aspirate the follicles, and align your ovulation with the doctor's gold schedule, voila -- natures little miracle.'

Fertility Clinic - "Who wants to be mother?"

"We can make you more pregnant than you ever though possible."

'And for Pete's sake, let's cut out out all this artificial insemination.'

"Just for variety, Doc, next time let's insert the embryos doggy style."

'Don't take this the wrong way, but these pills you have to take come in a child-proof bottle.'

'Last one in is a rotten egg.'

Science and mothers day

'We can now offer you a free range egg option.'

'Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize 1 egg?'

'I'm sorry Mrs Jones, but according to these results your womb is extremely inhospitable, and your husband's sperm is gay.'

"First, the good news; you're not sterile."

"Whoever she is...she's one hell of an egg donor."

"In brief, we'll stimulate your ovaries with daily medications or hormones, perform an oocyte retrieval at the hospital, incubate the eggs in a petri dish at the laboratory, and then sit back and let nature take its course"

'I'm sorry to inform you, Mrs. Cottontail, you're out of eggs.'

"I do hope you've got enough for a sample, Mr Furse."

"Great news! Your sperm count is dangerously low!"

'It's not about winning, it's about having fun!'