Fern Enthusiast T-Shirts

'Of all the fern bars in Encino, she's gotta walk into mine.'

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

'I think you're getting the hang of it.'

"You were right: I don't like water, but I do love snow!"

A tortoise toboggans down a hill in its shell

Good News about winter

'I admire your floatibility.'

'This guy loves giving stump speeches. Ironically, they're all against deforestation.'

"We're never going to resolve this if you won't get your own sword."

It's estimated that millions of trees are planted by forgetful squirrels.

'I love cutting trees in perfect circles because it drives aerial photography interpreters crazy.'

"Where's all your fish?" "I never should have bought 'coy' fish."

"So you kiss me and I turn into a prince? No thanks, sweetie, I'm gay. I'm already a queen."

"And would you like flies with that?"

"With the current state of the world, it's heartwarming to see kids having good old-fashioned, innocent fun in the snow."

'This is the last time I take you frog hunting!'

Inappropriate Snowmen

Snowyphus

'I think he would come back to earth if women would just stop kissing him.'

'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

"The homes in this area are beautiful."

'Well, I was looking for a yes-man, but I guess a toady will do just as well.'

'Don't you like it, Dad?'

Midwest Winter Items.

Man standing in front of giant snowball

'Being angry about shovelling snow will only make it harder for you, daddy...you need to just accept the snow...instead of thinking of it as a chore, you hate, make friends with it.'

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

Buddy hadn't learned from the time his tongue got stuck.

'Quit clowning about, Fred.'

"If we're musketeers, why can't we just shoot people? with muskets?"

"On the bright side, Dear, your jump looked great right up until the landing!"

'It's only now that we've chopped down all of the trees that we can see the damage we've done'

"Only 150 kids? - Have you considered fertility treatment?"

"The kids are growing up so fast."

"If you want to play fetch with the dog, throw your own @#&% arm."