Fern Enthusiast Gifts

'Of all the fern bars in Encino, she's gotta walk into mine.'

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

'I think you're getting the hang of it.'

A tortoise toboggans down a hill in its shell

"You were right: I don't like water, but I do love snow!"

Good News about winter

'I admire your floatibility.'

'This guy loves giving stump speeches. Ironically, they're all against deforestation.'

"Where's all your fish?" "I never should have bought 'coy' fish."

"We're never going to resolve this if you won't get your own sword."

It's estimated that millions of trees are planted by forgetful squirrels.

'I love cutting trees in perfect circles because it drives aerial photography interpreters crazy.'

"So you kiss me and I turn into a prince? No thanks, sweetie, I'm gay. I'm already a queen."

"And would you like flies with that?"

Inappropriate Snowmen

"With the current state of the world, it's heartwarming to see kids having good old-fashioned, innocent fun in the snow."

'This is the last time I take you frog hunting!'

Snowyphus

"The homes in this area are beautiful."

'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

'I think he would come back to earth if women would just stop kissing him.'

'Well, I was looking for a yes-man, but I guess a toady will do just as well.'

Buddy hadn't learned from the time his tongue got stuck.

'Being angry about shovelling snow will only make it harder for you, daddy...you need to just accept the snow...instead of thinking of it as a chore, you hate, make friends with it.'

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

Midwest Winter Items.

'Don't you like it, Dad?'

Man standing in front of giant snowball

'Quit clowning about, Fred.'

"If we're musketeers, why can't we just shoot people? with muskets?"

"On the bright side, Dear, your jump looked great right up until the landing!"

'It's only now that we've chopped down all of the trees that we can see the damage we've done'

"Only 150 kids? - Have you considered fertility treatment?"

Six frogs leap off their lily pads.

'Frogs, frogs, where are my frogs?'