Fence-side Philosopher T-Shirts

How does she get her grass so green?

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

"Ooooh, I bet that feels nice."

He can identify a fly taken by a trout at fifty yards range.

The Government's Got Your Back. And Wants Your Front As Well.

Courage. Love.

Of pitting his own wits against their natural cunning

Shallow End (Slightly innocuous statements) - Deep End (a little more weighty)

'How's the water, dear?'

Meekness of Mr Pecksniff and his Charming Daughter

"Don't worry, Jules. It'll come up on your side of the house in just 12 hours."

Grass: We lost some good men today!

Mozart on a lilo

'Perhaps we should leave details of the divorce settlement until after we are married.'

"Alarmingly, after five minutes the pool had come no closer."

'Wow, swimming IS great exercise! The bathroom scale I put down here shows I'm 20 pounds lighter!'

Chicken: the one-man show

How swimmers look and feel after a long swim.

Lemmings on Vacation

'A little madness in the Spring is wholesome even for the King' -Emily Dickinson.

"You're overthinking this."

'Despite anosmia she fonded her penuche.'

As the years passed, Grandpa became more absent minded...

Artist Misses the Point

"You forgot to adjust your hilling discs again, didn't you?"

Dept. de Philosophie

"I swear, we spend more time decided which squirrel to bark at than we do actually barking at it."

"In the Wild Wild West, we say, if it isn't yours, DON'T TAKE IT..."

'I don't feel at home on the range any more!'

"9-1-1, I'd like to report a great idea for a podcast."

"Dude, you gotta get out here and clean this pool more often."

"Am I rusting? I think one of my sections is sinking. Oh, no! I thought I heard the gate squeak."

Proverbs for Real Life. When one door closes it's probably locked and your key is on the other side.