Fence-side Philosopher T-Shirts

How does she get her grass so green?

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

"Ooooh, I bet that feels nice."

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'

He can identify a fly taken by a trout at fifty yards range.

The Government's Got Your Back. And Wants Your Front As Well.

Courage. Love.

Of pitting his own wits against their natural cunning

Shallow End (Slightly innocuous statements) - Deep End (a little more weighty)

'How's the water, dear?'

Meekness of Mr Pecksniff and his Charming Daughter

"Don't worry, Jules. It'll come up on your side of the house in just 12 hours."

Mozart on a lilo

"Alarmingly, after five minutes the pool had come no closer."

Grass: We lost some good men today!

'Perhaps we should leave details of the divorce settlement until after we are married.'

Chicken: the one-man show

'Wow, swimming IS great exercise! The bathroom scale I put down here shows I'm 20 pounds lighter!'

"You forgot to adjust your hilling discs again, didn't you?"

Artist Misses the Point

As the years passed, Grandpa became more absent minded...

Dept. de Philosophie

'A little madness in the Spring is wholesome even for the King' -Emily Dickinson.

"You're overthinking this."

How swimmers look and feel after a long swim.

"I swear, we spend more time decided which squirrel to bark at than we do actually barking at it."

'Despite anosmia she fonded her penuche.'

'I don't feel at home on the range any more!'

"9-1-1, I'd like to report a great idea for a podcast."

"In the Wild Wild West, we say, if it isn't yours, DON'T TAKE IT..."

"Am I rusting? I think one of my sections is sinking. Oh, no! I thought I heard the gate squeak."

"Dude, you gotta get out here and clean this pool more often."

'Is it labor day already?'