Fence Post Philosopher T-Shirts

"As you can see this is pretty embarrassing so I'd appreciate keeping it between you, me and this fence post."

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

The Government's Got Your Back. And Wants Your Front As Well.

Courage. Love.

''Food miles' is a big issue, so I'm reducing the distance my food travels by moving my fridge into the living room.'

You can't get what up

And overcoming their resistance by sheer skill.

Meekness of Mr Pecksniff and his Charming Daughter

"I always know what Harry's going to say, and he always knows what I'm going to say, so, by and large, we just don't bother."

"Don't worry, Jules. It'll come up on your side of the house in just 12 hours."

"I haven't been in a playpen yet that could hold me."

'Dog got your clog?'

'Aside from a crazed sheep now and then, this is a very risk-free profession.'

"Mr. Coughlin over there was the founder of one of the first motorcycle gangs"

"I've never trusted cows."

"In the Wild Wild West, we say, if it isn't yours, DON'T TAKE IT..."

'I don't feel at home on the range any more!'

"Am I rusting? I think one of my sections is sinking. Oh, no! I thought I heard the gate squeak."

Art Museum vs Refrigerator Artwork

"...umm, when was the last time somebody cleaned the fridge?!"

'I've got an epistle to the Corinthians, ten shekels postage due.'

'Nothing to do? Why don't you read the refrigerator.'

"I don't care if 'the medium is the message'. You can't draw directly on the fridge!"

"Pawn to King Four."

How does she get her grass so green?

Europe

"But otherwise I'll bet they lead very dull lives."

"I want to enjoy the greener grass on the other side of the fence, but the problem is that I don't know where that fence is."

"I've given up on trying to improve the quality of my milk: It just ends up mixed with milk from other cows in a big vat..."

'Maybe it was a left turn at the last set of traffic lights...?'

'I don't believe I've ever seen a scientific paper defended quite as vigorously as this one!'

Women on desert island build themselves a fence to talk over.

Bob devises the ultimate weight-loss system.

"I believe jazz did come up the Mississippi, Ted, but not quite as far as East Moline."