Feminist Commentator Pillows

The Imperfect Hostess

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

'Cartoonist thinking'

'He hasn't played a game yet, but there are people who have started whinging about him already.'

Sports Radio in Crisis

There were a million things Alexander Hamilton hadn't done

Carl Shurz's attacks on President Grant are 'Played Out'

The National Institute for Advanced Talk-Show Punditry.

"Inactivists"

"Lord, save my ass from this Russia debacle, please!"

Tree of Public Opinion.

And now, for a rebuttal.

'Oh man, he just nailed that triple entendre... that all but guarantees him a medal.'

"If PBS announcers did football games." "Let's listen carefully to the quarterback as he scans his options. It appears that the defense seems to want to deter his team from moving the ball forward..." "The fans are making so much noise. I wonder if they know how hard that makes it for the players to concentrate?"

"As you can see here - slow the tape, guys - these sparks are coming awfully close to the truck's gas tank, an explosive situation indeed..." Every high speed chase needs a color man.

Chess on TV

"Actually, we will replace you."

'No, he didn't have any last words,his wife was in there and she did all of the talking right up to the end.'

"Oh, you were on automatic pilot? And what about her? Was she on automatic pilot, too?"

The United States of Amazement

"This is gonna be great!"

Sportscasters on the Savannah

Voice of the GOP

Dear Sadie, How come there never seems to be any penality for pundits who turn out to be wrong all the time?

Trump Liberty

'oh...You're home, just when my spirits were rising.'

Americans have been in denial about the cause of mass shootings for a while but it's time to get serious about door control.

'He's called that, because he keeps getting licked.'

"Yes I know...she just needs a passport!"