Gender Commentators Pillows

Bullets and Cowets

'I'd like to dedicate this next tune to those who have discovered love, gotten married, and wished desperately for death.'

"You want to know why I drink?. . . I drink to forget!"

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

Why Superman flies himself

National Living Wage from April 1st.

"Neversource"

"When Harold first said he identified as a balloon animal I thought it was just a phase, but here we are fifteen years later and it seems to be working."

'I don't care if he is the most interesting man in the world, his tweets about what he had for breakfast are still boring.'

There were a million things Alexander Hamilton hadn't done

The National Institute for Advanced Talk-Show Punditry.

"This not the way I envisioned falling in love."

Joan of Arc goes sword shopping.

Collected works

"It's a legal document authorizing you to carry out a Do Not Resuscitate order on my behalf, although heaven knows, you have a hard enough time cancelling a magazine subscription."

"Whatever happened to traditional marriages? There they are...on national television...with millions of people watching...two women getting married! And they're both wearing blue jeans!"

Man in traffic jam watches couple row while eating popcorn.

"Bad news - the local sewage plant is made of reinforced autoclaved aerated concrete."

NHS Stabbing Ward

Self Checkout

'There's a NAGGING blog?'

"First the artillery softens them up. Then the armored division moves in, followed by the infantry. And remember: we're dealing with hardened asylum seekers."

"I'm trying to make them look less scary."

"I don't see what you see in him."

"I know I say it in every episode, Carson, but the world is changing and we have to change with it."

"Wow, maybe Heidi Klum looks like Gisele Bundchen."

"I'm a vegan. I don't know what made me order a cheeseburger. Maybe I've got the flesh eating disease."

'So, did your marriage counseling work?', 'It sure did! -- She ran off with the marriage counselor!'

"I hate when this happens."

'I'm sorry, but we're letting all of you go. Your jobs have been outsourced to India.'

"Now who's being judgy?"

80 years ago. Food comes farms. 40 years ago. Market. Kids today don't understand. They think food comes from the supermarket. They don't realize it comes from farms. Present day. Kids today don't understand. They think food just shows up in boxes at the door. They don't realize those boxes come from stores.

'Her being multi-lingual has it's drawbacks I'm afraid-she nags me in SIX languages!'

Too Stupid Not to Fail

"I believe you were complaining about your cold this morning."