Commentator Pillows

The Salute

Sportscasters on the Savannah

"And, in this corner, weighing five pounds more than she'd like..."

Up-to-the-minute reporting from our man on the street.

Former Pundit. Will Opine for Food.

This Bus Runs on Punditry

Sports Radio in Crisis

'Oooh, looks like a broken leg for Randolph - broken legs are brought to you by Altrion Orthopedics Incorporated...'

Rush Limbaugh's orifice.

And now, for a rebuttal.

"It could go badly, or it could go well, depending on whether it goes badly or well."

'We're going to take another look at that play in snow motion.'

'... we've got a crowd of, oh I'd say fourteen million organisms here for the annual 'Salmonella potato salad bowl'!'

'Oh man, he just nailed that triple entendre... that all but guarantees him a medal.'

"The 3 major networks have projected a winner..."

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

"If PBS announcers did football games." "Let's listen carefully to the quarterback as he scans his options. It appears that the defense seems to want to deter his team from moving the ball forward..." "The fans are making so much noise. I wonder if they know how hard that makes it for the players to concentrate?"

"This is gonna be great!"

"And now here's Jerome with an overview."

"The kick is up, and it's, it's, it's too close to call!"

Unemployed Talking Heads

The United States of Amazement

"Spare me the commentary."

Hot takes

The Dangers of Wokeness

"Actually, we will replace you."

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

Trump's Dominoes

Dear Sadie, How come there never seems to be any penality for pundits who turn out to be wrong all the time?

"You're on 'Ask Sadie.' What's your problem?" "Brexit." "It was historic. I'm old enough to remember before the European Union existed. I witnessed its creation. But now it's fallen apart and well then what I witnessed wasn't all that historic after all." "Way to make it all about you." "It's like it was all just one big tease."

Americans have been in denial about the cause of mass shootings for a while but it's time to get serious about door control.

Carl Shurz's attacks on President Grant are 'Played Out'

"Nice speech. A blend of the aspirational and pie-in-the-sky nonsense."

'When I grow up, I want to be a pundit or a weather forecaster. Neither of them has to be right all the time.'

Argued On-air