Fellowship Seeker Gifts

"Perhaps I should have called this an Ice Cream Social."

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

Continuing education.

'Another football scholarship offer?'

Procrastinator Foumdation: 'We're putting off the decision to fund you for at least another month...'

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

Bribes for Jabs

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

"Life is very fragile so we should handle it with 'prayer'."

'This scholarship application is great. You must have received an A in creative writing.'

'The best grants lie that-a-ways, Ma'am.'

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

'I'm just going to say my prayers. Any requests?'

'I'm looking for male bonding, but I'm a little rusty.'

Pinara fund

It's college orientation time. The brain cell is attending an elite academic university, and the hormones and endorphins are going to party schools. The muscle cell earned an athletic scholarship. And it looks like the DNA molecule has already picked a major. The DNA has life planned out. It's chemically active down there. The individual atoms are excited, but also seem a bit sad. Of course! Going off to college is an emotional time for them. Old bonds are breaking and new ones are bein

'Get an afterlife!'

Morton's pride was understandable. He was the first in the Pinhead Family to ever graduate.

"There is a medical use for marijuana. I sold it to pay my tuition at medical school."

'OKAY, okay Sandra, I'll PAY for your University course. But it BETTER NOT cost me an arm and a leg!...'

'Agreed. We fund only those proposals we can understand.'

'It's a private school. Can't say which one, it's private.'

"Lately, I've become more spiritual, and less religious."

'That's all there is in my college fund? That won't even buy the beer!'

'I suspected hackers when it accepted all the student scholarship applications.'

Honorable mention in science: the Nobel surprise.

Popular college book: How to say 'Send money' in 101 languages.

'Please help, ma'am. I need support to write my Ph.D. dissertation on 'Successful fund-raising techniques'.'

Alternative Medicine. Group Hug.

'You have a friend request.'

Coffee, Snacks, and Encouragement.

"Great. First our funding ran out, now the rat."

'Is it ethical to pray for an amicable divorce?'

"For your information, officer, I was not ‘texting’ – I was reviewing candidate applications for fellowship grants!"

'I've got the inside track ... But the Devil uses the big freeway.'