Fellow Name-sharer Pillows

Steve found himself on his travels.

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

"I love that you still call me 'honey'."

Children arguing over the name of a fish

Girl to girl: 'A friend is someone you don't have to call dibs with.'

"My instagram feed is basically people, dog food, and tennis balls."

Lumberjack and tree share a smile.

'You put it down for five seconds. I get it now.'

"Do you want the last piece, or can I have it?"

"It's my box of secrets. It has things I've thought about but would never tell anyone!"

"First of all, this conversation never happened."

"We're callin' 'im Bill, coz he came at the end of the month"

"Are you still mad at me?" "Mentally I'm storming off right now."

Mr Long and Miss Short.

'You're in trouble. Your confidential memo went toxic and so did that tuna salad.'

'Scientists at the Human Genome Project have located a gene that makes us want to constantly look for our name on search engines.'

Samosas

"Why do I bother to evangelize online when no one listens?"

"As you can see this is pretty embarrassing so I'd appreciate keeping it between you, me and this fence post."

"I did share! I gave Dougie all my melted candy."

"We'll you're never gonna get it."

"Poor kid, being lumbered with a name like Kevin. What's wrong with something ordinary like Zain or Kayan?"

'Mom calls this a diary where you write private thoughts no one else can see. What fun is that?'

Obscene Hollywood phone call

'How would you have played that last ball?'

Regrettable names which probably seemed like a good idea at the time - Rainbow Moon-Child, Anarchy Scum Bag, Freemarket Share-Option, Tony.

'Now that we're married, I thought I should be less selfish. Here, take the TV remote while I get a snack.'

'OK that's ten pieces of silver each, except for Judas...you had the Greek salad and the cheese platter, so you owe thirty pieces of silver.'

'Hang on a minute, haven't we already got a Tracey?'

"It was a simple case of mistaken identity. Nobody's fault – I always carry more than one set of ID."