Feline Friendship Gifts

"Believe me, I'm accustomed to being analyzed by my cat."

"And where have you previously moused?"

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

"Hon, come quick! Mr. Puff has lowered his impenetrable wall of feline indifference, and it probably won't last long!"

Tell me again how aloof and independent cats are.

"I can't wait for vacation - I'm going to go sun myself in a south-facing window."

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

Cats on Board.

"I know we've had our differences in the past but if you scratch behind my ears I'll show you where the catnip is kept."

' 'Cat in the Window'...chapter 14...'

Lifestyles of the hamsters of the rich and famous.

"I hate it when we fight."

'Wow...Your work is amazing!'

"Mmmm! Bears hibernate in the winter. Cats can hibernate anytime we want!"

Should've been routine. That was before the dog called and offered to pay twice as much to have the master put down.

Shelter Cat Nap

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

"It doesn't do anything all day but eat and sleep and get waited on by a staff of bipeds. I think we've found the leader."

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

'I just love that little fluffy grey kitten!'

'My owner is feeding me way too much organic food.'

Snooze buttons for cat owners

'Honestly, now that Tiger is neutered I'm perfectly happy just cuddling.'

"Do you remember ordering 1,345 cans of tuna?"

'You're doing that just to bug me, aren't you?'

Sunday P.M. July 15, 1990 in the Watternods' Living Room with the Watternods' Dog and Mr. Wu Lung's Cat from Next Door

Cat holds sign which says - Will purr for food.

Cat plays an arcade game that involves shooting at gun into a mouse hole.

"Cat-astrophic Trifecta" "I pooped in Mona's Jimmy Choo handbag." "I knocked over grampa's ashes." "I buried a Barbie in the litter box."

'Want to freak her out? Stare over her shoulder without blinking for 10 minutes.'

'One final question.. what's your policy on table scraps?'

Cat puts off paying gas bill, to sleep longer...

"Such a refreshing day...I've spent 18 hours between napping and comatose."

"Satisfaction, stat!"

Love.