Feline Flirt Pillows

Cat Pick Up Lines

Mittens is challenged by the string.

Pet Shop: "I think I've found one for me."

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

"There HAS to be a giant ball at the end of all this string."

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Moscow 1917

Flowers? My girl prefers a dead mouse!

'We know you have a cat.'

'Man it's a tough crowd tonight!'

'What? I'm scratching the sofa! I'm not! And if I was? It's your fault!'

"Oh, we've got to nip this little trick in the bud right away."

"I'm not kidding: I am feline too and I do love swimming!"

"The narrative seems contrived."

"GPS? In case we get lost? Why would we need that? We're microchipped."

The ambush.

The universe that has me at the center of it is my kind of universe!

Cat on a psychiatrist's couch: 'Truth is, I'm not really a cat person.'

'Cat scans are for felines. I will give your dog a pet scan.'

'Who are you and what do you want?'

"Thanks for walking me home."

Great mouser!

'Trust me, if you get them as kittens, you learn to love them...'

'I didn't know people still played footsie.'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: The Graeae

Cat's Valentine

"She feeds me the same stuff every single day, yet I can't help approaching it like I have NO idea what it could possibly be!"

'Guarding the house, bringing Master his newspaper and slippers does not require much skill, does it? Catching mice, on the other hand...'

"Holy smokes, he's undefeatable!"

Cat strenuously denies hat poo under the bed is anything to do with him...

'Don't give me that 'hairball' excuse again. Just admit it - you don't like my cooking!'

Cat eyes up cocktail olive.

'My dog told me to say he likes your dog.'