Feline Cultural Analyst Gifts

"Well, this is an awkward purr."

Cat in a tank...

"Now I really hate poetry."

The day the cat realized it was dependent.

'She still won't accept that she's the cat, and not the meow.'

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

"Now this I get."

PET THEORIES

'I gotta admit it doc. . . My wife was right, a little time on the couch and I already feel better.'

'Hard to follow...'

"'Grim Reapers' was considered too offensive, these days we're known as 'afterlife facilitators.'"

'Don't look at me!'

"I think I'll have the fish. No, wait... yes, the fish." "So many choices... what is a Reuben? Never mind, I'll have the fish, too." "I always get the same thing, but it's so good. Alright, I'll have the fish."

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

Litter Box Logistics Ltd.

'Robert.....Why do you think they call slanted letters italics.'

"OK, now what's the meaning of the other eight?"

'I'm sure they don't think you're really a bad kitty...just a kitty that sometimes does bad things.'

"How do I get down?"

'All cats have 4 legs and fur. I have 4 legs and fur...It's too hard to think anymore.'

'You should try giving yourself a bath.'

"Frankly, I think it's time we take a long hard look at cat futures."

Lola Knows More Than She Lets On

Man asks haughty looking cat: "And how, exactly, do you qualify as a spokesman for the feline community?"

"Son, the key to a happy marriage is listening, or at least purr and pretend you are."

"You must now empty the Kitty Litter of your mind."

Culture, Media and Sport Podium.

Mount Rushmore entertainment.

"My one regret is not napping more."

'I'm not an indoor cat. I'm a bitter, angry, frustrated, resentful, repressed cat.'

Rude Americans.

Britain sinking and losing it's identity.

"Listen, and I'll explain it to you again..."

'. . . I can see why people might believe in reincarnation but if you're already a cat - what's the point?!'

"The human is back - act normal."