Feelings Fan Gifts

Women rush to man with 'I heart emotions' t-shirt.

"'How does this make me feel?' For what you charge an hour - you should be able to tell me."

Take seat. Nothing makes me happier than keeping people warm and cooking s'mores for them. Friendly fire.

"You've reached Randy the love doctor. What ails you?"

"I hate it when we fight."

'Can you play something the dog doesn't know?'

"He wasn't even early - he was on his way home from a party!"

"It's nice to feel wanted though, isn't it?"

Turmoil change.

"How come there's no feel-good performance art?"

"I hear you've got friends in high places...?"

"These feelings of yours aren't unusual - in fact, several of them have Web sites."

"I won't bring any more friends home unless you let me play with them first!"

'Well, I'll be...look at this...there's a song in his heart!'

"I'm so old I can't remember who's the smart one and who's the pretty one."

"He wouldn't let me in, he wouldn't let me stay, he wouldn't let me out."

"I've been feeling more transparent."

"I can be changed!"

"Your empathy is making it hard to breathe."

'Promise me you won't tell the other dogs about this!'

People looking worried, sad and angry wait at the Emotional Baggage Carousel

CartoonStock Upload"You are an all-round good guy!"

"And a signature here verifying your witness to my empathy."

"But that's the beauty of the game. At this very moment, your absurd vicarious defeat is being perfectly counterbalanced by some opposing fan's absurd vicarious triumph."

"She's not very good at defending herself, but she does very well at identifying her feelings."

"What I believe is that it was fate that brought me here and that we will be best friends forever!"

'I stay out of the sun and use a fan: That way, I don't need to roll in the mud to keep cool...'

Here's to absent friends. Those lucky dogs.

"Last night I ended a long term relationship."

"He's my friend. I made him today."

"I heard smart girls like smart guys."

'Mum! Mum! Can my friend Daisy roam the plains with me this afternoon?'

Mood Swings

'Of course I forgive you. That's what friends do. How did you know it fell out of my cone?'

He was beginning to quiver all over like Lionel Barrymore.