Feeling Down Gifts

"I know you're sad, but don't beach yourself up over it."

'Hmmm.... who shall I phone is likely to be more fed up than I am. . . so I'll feel chirpy?'

They hated me.

'You gonna finish that lemon peel?'

Quarantine: Day Quinty-Neven

"The hardest thing about learning to tumble is the floor."

You Know You're Old When...

'We don't have a mission statement. We have a survival plan.'

Gonna Suck

Hot weather brings misery to millions.

'Hey, what's up? You're wearing your Friday face and it's only Tuesday.'

"When you said you were getting a pet to help you through the lockdown, I thought you meant a cat."

'Listen... that sound... we're scraping the bottom of the barrel.'

'It just hasn't been my day.'

"I feel like everyone's been acting so distant lately."

"That does it! California is on the naughty list!"

"I've decided to step down, Chilton, and, regrettably, you're underfoot."

Gorilla investment tactics.

'Poor fellow. One really is the loneliest number.'

Foot in ice cube.

More Hamptons

"Get Whale Soon!"

'Typical!'

A Week at Ballachulish, Pt. 2

'You don't seem very happy this morning.'

Right v. Wrong Side of the Bed

The Open Refrigerator

'If she doesn't get well, do I get a refund?'

'Hello...Dr Smith...this is...Fred Yomp's computer...'

"Don't cry, Mom. Lots of parents have children who didn't get into their first-choice college, and they went on to live happy, fulfilled lives."

'Gee! Your diet's beginning to work!'

Man sitting in an ice cream cone.

'I can't eat because I'm on a diet, I can't drink because of my ulcer and I can't be merry because I'm a grouch.'

'Fred's had a rough day. He was laid off, run down, set up, and now he's fit to be tied.'

"I just don't have it in me today..." "Well, aren't you the lucky one."