Bad Day Mood-lifter Gifts

Gonna Suck

The day the stock market went UP.

"You're new here ... it's customary on dismal Monday mornings to be miserable."

Unhappy man with 'rabbit-ear' fingers behind his head.

"How was my day? I'm still calculating the little victories minus the humiliations I normally suffer."

'Hold on, Baby, Hold on!'

"Don't talk to me before discover coffee."

How Optimism Works

"I did seize the day. But then it seized me right back and used some kind of jujitsu move to flip me on my ass."

Back to school.

'What a day! - the computer broke down, and I had to cook manually!'

'What a day! My secretary was out, our biggest customer canceled a large order, the computer broke down, I didn't have any lunch, and leaving work I got stuck for an hour in the elevator with an 18 year old nympho with big breasts!'

'Sounds like someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed.'

'What the hell is that guy's problem?'

"For the sake of morale, Duffy, could you at least try to look stressed?"

'Hello dear - I've had a very depressing day.'

"Vodka on the rocks, in the rocks, around the rocks, and under the rocks."

Bartender: 'Rough day, huh?'Man: 'I'll say. My ex-wife just sued the pants off me.'

'You think that's bad? My husband got canned today.'

"Is there a humorist in the house?"

"Ok, first off... ever have one of those days when you just can't seem to do anything right?"

"Stu's not a morning person."

"All drinks are half-priced during happy hour. . . but only if you can prove you're happy."

'Uh oh, looks like he had a tough day at the office: Let's jump around to cheer him up...'

It was a bad day for Mr Effervescent

"You're a very complex carbohydrate."

'I guess it's just one of those days.'

"The Bluebird of Happiness is on his way. We're security."

'It just hasn't been my day.'

'Now then, Mr. Grumpypants, if we're to get along we'll have to turn that frown upside down...'

Vacuuming Up the Mood

'Phew! What a day I've had. Still, I don't suppose it can get any worse.'

"Prozzac"

'One of those days, huh?'

"Thanks, but do you have anything stronger than 'have a nice day'?"