Bad Day Recovery Gifts

"I did seize the day. But then it seized me right back and used some kind of jujitsu move to flip me on my ass."

Perfect end to a lousy day - man praying gets God's answer machine.

"I don't know what's wrong with me today. I just can't seem to opt."

"I'm had a miserable day, so I'd appreciate it if neither of you mention politics, wildfires or COVID."

"How was my day? I'm still calculating the little victories minus the humiliations I normally suffer."

"When people tell me to have a great day I wish they'd let the day know."

"I won't be in today. I've decided to live off the land."

'Hold on, Baby, Hold on!'

"I don't feel like going to school. Isn't that a flu-like symptom?"

'What a day! - the computer broke down, and I had to cook manually!'

'What a day! My secretary was out, our biggest customer canceled a large order, the computer broke down, I didn't have any lunch, and leaving work I got stuck for an hour in the elevator with an 18 year old nympho with big breasts!'

"Post-holiday dieting will be much easier this year. Our disposable cash flow will be diverted."

'I discovered just as much work gets done when you're not there.'

"Vodka on the rocks, in the rocks, around the rocks, and under the rocks."

Bartender: 'Rough day, huh?'Man: 'I'll say. My ex-wife just sued the pants off me.'

'Hello dear - I've had a very depressing day.'

'You think that's bad? My husband got canned today.'

"You better take Teddy's temperature too....he was awfully sick this morning!"

"I don't think I'm going to be in today, I got a bit wrecked at the weekend."

Gonna Suck

"How am I? I'm just trying to et over the flu in time for allergy season."

It was a bad day for Mr Effervescent

"I've lost my voice. Is it contagious?"

'I'm still pretty unwell, I'm not sure if I'll be in the office tomorrow.'

'I'm sorry, Mr. Harris is not here. In fact nobody's here. I think it's a staff infection!'

"Thanks, but do you have anything stronger than 'have a nice day'?"

'I couldn't decide what to wear to work so I just didn't go.'

I can't come in today. I haven't got chronic diarrhoea!

Woman watches TV wrapped up in warm clothing.

'Phew! What a day I've had. Still, I don't suppose it can get any worse.'

'It just hasn't been my day.'

"But I dreamed I was awake all night."

"Thank goodness! I thought that day would never end!"

'One of those days, huh?'

Go home and take your cold with you.