Bad Day Recovery Gifts

"I did seize the day. But then it seized me right back and used some kind of jujitsu move to flip me on my ass."

Perfect end to a lousy day - man praying gets God's answer machine.

"I don't know what's wrong with me today. I just can't seem to opt."

"I'm had a miserable day, so I'd appreciate it if neither of you mention politics, wildfires or COVID."

Good morning! I'm the vulture of happiness! Ray realizes it's going to be one of those days

"How was my day? I'm still calculating the little victories minus the humiliations I normally suffer."

"When people tell me to have a great day I wish they'd let the day know."

"I won't be in today. I've decided to live off the land."

'Hold on, Baby, Hold on!'

"I don't feel like going to school. Isn't that a flu-like symptom?"

'What a day! - the computer broke down, and I had to cook manually!'

'What a day! My secretary was out, our biggest customer canceled a large order, the computer broke down, I didn't have any lunch, and leaving work I got stuck for an hour in the elevator with an 18 year old nympho with big breasts!'

"Post-holiday dieting will be much easier this year. Our disposable cash flow will be diverted."

'I discovered just as much work gets done when you're not there.'

"Vodka on the rocks, in the rocks, around the rocks, and under the rocks."

"You better take Teddy's temperature too....he was awfully sick this morning!"

Bartender: 'Rough day, huh?'Man: 'I'll say. My ex-wife just sued the pants off me.'

'Hello dear - I've had a very depressing day.'

'You think that's bad? My husband got canned today.'

Gonna Suck

"How am I? I'm just trying to et over the flu in time for allergy season."

It was a bad day for Mr Effervescent

"I don't think I'm going to be in today, I got a bit wrecked at the weekend."

'I guess it's just one of those days.'

"I've lost my voice. Is it contagious?"

'I'm still pretty unwell, I'm not sure if I'll be in the office tomorrow.'

'It just hasn't been my day.'

'One of those days, huh?'

'Phew! What a day I've had. Still, I don't suppose it can get any worse.'

"Thanks, but do you have anything stronger than 'have a nice day'?"

Woman watches TV wrapped up in warm clothing.

I can't come in today. I haven't got chronic diarrhoea!

'I couldn't decide what to wear to work so I just didn't go.'

"But I dreamed I was awake all night."

'I'm sorry, Mr. Harris is not here. In fact nobody's here. I think it's a staff infection!'