Bad Day Survivors Gifts

The Beginning of One of Those Days

"You have a giant rip in your pants."

'The kids were so sweet...'

"Absolutely not!"

"The day at school? Oh, you know, the usual psychological and educational stew."

"How was my day? I'm still calculating the little victories minus the humiliations I normally suffer."

'Hold on, Baby, Hold on!'

"It's going to be one of those days."

"I did seize the day. But then it seized me right back and used some kind of jujitsu move to flip me on my ass."

Umbrella Roof

'What a day! My secretary was out, our biggest customer canceled a large order, the computer broke down, I didn't have any lunch, and leaving work I got stuck for an hour in the elevator with an 18 year old nympho with big breasts!'

I can't do anything with my hair. It doesn't like to go to movies or concerts, or play games. It's just really dull.

"Vodka on the rocks, in the rocks, around the rocks, and under the rocks."

Bartender: 'Rough day, huh?'Man: 'I'll say. My ex-wife just sued the pants off me.'

'You think that's bad? My husband got canned today.'

'Hello dear - I've had a very depressing day.'

Wonderland School. Principal. As usual, things are chaotic of the first day of school. Goldilocks has already switched desks twice. Some cafeteria equipment is missing. The dish ran away with the spoon. Cinderella was already looking at the lost and found looking for a shoe. And I just heard about a problem with Humpty Dumpty out on the playground. At least Peter Pan looks relaxed. Of course, he's been going to this school for decades.

"This is the last time I let anyone fix me up with a blind date!"

It was a bad day for Mr Effervescent

'Mother sent me back to school the minute I was feeling better.'

'He's having a bad feather day.'

'I can never do anything with my hair phobia.'

'I guess it's just one of those days.'

"I've lost my voice. Is it contagious?"

'One of those days, huh?'

Hat Swap

"Thank goodness! I thought that day would never end!"

'Phew! What a day I've had. Still, I don't suppose it can get any worse.'

'It just hasn't been my day.'

"Thanks, but do you have anything stronger than 'have a nice day'?"

Snowplough Scoring Mailboxes.

Street sweeper with an umbrella on his broom.

"That's just great! The boat sank and it's hide tide. What else could go wrong?!"

'I had a really bad day at work! . . . I was expecting it to be utterly horrific. . . but in the end it was just really bad. . . My cracked glass is half full!'

'Sure. That's why I wear open-toed sandals.'