Bad Luck Survivors Gifts

'What a day. My girlfriend left me, and my dog died. My only consolation is that it can't get any worse!'

"Hey, you stick your neck out on a regular basis, it's gonna happen. The important thing is to just get up and keep moving forward."

The Best Laid Plans

'How are we supposed to think the unthinkable if we have to drink the drinkable?'

'It's been a rough day, my shirt button fell off, the handle of my brief case came off... I'm too scared to go to the bathroom!'

"It's a letter from my boss. He says he's not paying me for the time I've been stranded on this island."

'We're in a hurry.'

'What a day! My secretary was out, our biggest customer canceled a large order, the computer broke down, I didn't have any lunch, and leaving work I got stuck for an hour in the elevator with an 18 year old nympho with big breasts!'

A marooned man builds a swing set from his lone palm tree.

"Thanks, but do you have anything stronger than 'have a nice day'?"

'It just hasn't been my day.'

"The tiny one treats the symptoms. The big one treats the side effects."

"You have a giant rip in your pants."

'I had a really bad day at work! . . . I was expecting it to be utterly horrific. . . but in the end it was just really bad. . . My cracked glass is half full!'

"This Thanksgiving, we're going to serve whatever we can get from the food bank."

'This day goes from bad to worse.'

"That's just great! The boat sank and it's hide tide. What else could go wrong?!"

Sneeze Police

'Oh yes. It's mentioned here, under side-effects.'

'Come on, Larry! You don't have time to make a bucket list!'

'So I talk to myself! What is it to you?'

"Poor Zachary. A meteorite squashed his swing set."

The Beginning of One of Those Days

2042

'And these blue ones are for the stomach cramps these red ones are going to give you,'

'Time to try out my new shoes...'

'Maybe I am jinxed -- did anybody else ever get hit by a meteor while standing in line at the unemployment office?'

"What happened to you?"

For cryin' out loud What are the chances that all six tires blow at once,

Annual 10k run of bad luck.

'I think we're really onto something here...it seems that most of your problems started when you broke that chain letter in 79.'

Message in a bottle breaks on a rock.

Clancy: Coot of a Day

"Of all the hundreds of islands I could get washed up on, I get to land on Hell's Island."

'Women? No, I joined up to forget fifteen men, the English Rugby team.'