Feeding Time Chuckler Gifts

'A reservation? Of course I haven't got a bloody reservation!'

"You keep impeccable time."

"She's losing a lot of cream cheese. We're going to have to cut her open."

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

"I think what I love most is the smile on her face as she feeds me!"

"Guess we are going to the coffee shop!"

'Fancy a swift half?'

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

'Take a letter,'

Milk Toast: One of the World's Most Deadly Foods!

Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep and with the sun if I've found death, please excuse my morning breath.

'I promise you we'll have him out of here real fast... we need the rest.'

'I think cowboys are just plain lazy: Why else would you have to carry them all the time?'

'The hair plugs are that noticeable, huh?'

tax

Corona virus: "Wow, I seem to be getting lots of attention lately."

"Here's the problem. Your computer isn't obsolete, you are."

'I forgot to bring my lunch - could I clone yours?'

'Just the one, thanks.'

"If you hibernated you wouldn't have to worry about losing an hour's sleep to daylight savings."

'The doctors said you were so nervous about the operation they had to give you a tranquiliser.'

'Get with it, buddy -- that mile of highway you adopted has snow all over it!'

'And in a landslide, the winner of the 'Waking Up Your Owner' race...'

"Just a heads up...the chicken paprikash is camera shy."

"Pandemic! That's a pretty name."

'Bless you!'

'So that's 60 minutes, room 4 with Sally, and will you be taking our standard resuscitation insurance?'

"He says masks are mandatory to enter. Should we try the other place instead?"

"I keep getting into a flap."

"What's for dinner, Madge? I'll be home soon."

"I just talked to Grunzman on the phone when he called in sick...I fear he really has got something very, very highly contagious!"

"But it's 3 o'clock in the morning. Okay, one word ... rhymes with liar."

"We need a quieter can opener."

Is it true that all cats are free thinkers? Yeah, we can't stand dogma.