Fearless Humor Enthusiast Gifts

"He hates his six-monthly visits."

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

Police Feline Unit

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

"His first out-of-body experience."

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

Speed Dating for Turtles

Skiing.

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

Party of two? No, it was quite a large party.

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

Doctor examining Easter Island statue.

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

Faster, Georges, faster!

Do Not Resuscitate

Dog Walking Services