Faux Fur Gifts

'It is Hyena. You said you wanted a fun fur.'

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

Dogs shaving

'Yes I know I'm intelligent and famous, but I'd trade it all for a good old belly scratching.'

'Your fur looks like you slept in it.'

Kensington Fluffies

'Honestly, now that Tiger is neutered I'm perfectly happy just cuddling.'

"Back when we got him, Rufus was a child substitute. Now he's just a dog."

Cat Zoom Meeting

"I think it's unfair to call her a "crazy cat-lady": She just loves all 63 of us..."

'Who did you have lick your hair?'

Dog and man on couch

It bag and no knickers!

"She never took to the leash."

"We're making progress."

The Poodle and The Twooudle.

"I can't hear you. Are you playing with the dog again?"

"It's not that you ate the sirloin tips. It's the lying."

'What's all this pet's rights stuff addressed to you?'

"She's a model dog, alright. When she's not on a catwalk, she demands a lot of attention, requires constant grooming, and is a picky eater."

"Get out of that chair! Frank and Bernice will be here in an hour and I really don't want to spend half of that time cleaning cat hair off the furniture."

"I'm afraid I've gotten dog hair all over you."

"I don't see myself as just a dog. I see myself as a Complete Family Pet System."

"Save some for Mommy, Princess."

Fur'niture

"I say you're spoiling that dog."

"I'd love to but I'm stuck to the naugahyde."

"Dad, I found your paper and your slippers."

Figure Skating Competition

"No! Don't even think about it!"

"Ironically, bathroom time is the one moment when dogs appear dignified."

"Oh, no thanks, I'm more of a cat person."

'My wife wanted a fur coat so, for her birthday, I got her a starter kit.'

'Running from the anti-fur activists gives me a great workout.'

"They say I'm spoiled, whatever that means."