Fast Food Critics Gifts

1964, The height of the Cold War. In an average community surrounding a little-known biological warfare institute, the obesity epidemic is quietly unleashed.

"I saw this video where a half eater American looks exactly the same after being left out for 6 months."

"Someday we'll look back at this as the golden age of childhood obesity."

'Snails! Are you having me on?'

"Kind of ironic that Jerry and Roger ended up this way since they never could stand each other."

Fly Fast Food,

"Sorry sir, it appears that we're out of chicken fingers."

This fast food restaurant uses recycled packaging! . . . "And recycled food!"

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

'I guess there are lots of rotten jobs, Gramma...I hope I don't have to clean the taco hut forever.'

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

Einstein develops his theories that time is relative while ordering at a fast food restaurant.

"Two burgers, two fries, two martinis—and we'll have those to go."

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

"Bob takes everything with a grain of salt...and pepper...and garlic..."

"I'm putting you on a beef diet. Nothing beef for breakfast, nothing beef for lunch, nothing beef for tea, nothing beef for..."

'I'm from P.E.T.A.. Are you the one who called about animal-rights abuses?'

Fast Food Menu Selections

"I think globally, but I tend to pollute locally."

'Yes, I am impressed at how fast you got here, but where's my pizza?'

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

'How can he be depressed when all he eats are Happy Meals?'

'I made your favorite for dinner — pterodactyl nuggets!'

"That's a plain burger and black coffee? But what kind of plain burger and what kind of black coffee?"

Stratigraphy

The proper term for our special promotion is Triple Cheeseburger with a Gazillion fries...not the triple bypass special!

'The Specials are the same as the Main Menu dishes, but with more florid descriptions.'

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

"Look out, Luke Grasswalker! Irascibility leads to the dark side of the force. . . right into a hamburger bun."

The miracle of 2-for-1 pizza.

'The two-pounds-burger menu includes chips, a large drink and an arteriosclerosis treatment.'

'Waiter, I think my wife's calamari is underdone.'

"Bob, you're just not selling me on you essential hamburgerness."

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