Fast Food Critics Gifts

1964, The height of the Cold War. In an average community surrounding a little-known biological warfare institute, the obesity epidemic is quietly unleashed.

"I saw this video where a half eater American looks exactly the same after being left out for 6 months."

"Someday we'll look back at this as the golden age of childhood obesity."

'Snails! Are you having me on?'

Fly Fast Food,

"Sorry sir, it appears that we're out of chicken fingers."

This fast food restaurant uses recycled packaging! . . . "And recycled food!"

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

'I guess there are lots of rotten jobs, Gramma...I hope I don't have to clean the taco hut forever.'

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

"Two burgers, two fries, two martinis—and we'll have those to go."

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

'I'm from P.E.T.A.. Are you the one who called about animal-rights abuses?'

"Bob takes everything with a grain of salt...and pepper...and garlic..."

"I'm putting you on a beef diet. Nothing beef for breakfast, nothing beef for lunch, nothing beef for tea, nothing beef for..."

Fast Food Menu Selections

"I think globally, but I tend to pollute locally."

'Yes, I am impressed at how fast you got here, but where's my pizza?'

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

'I made your favorite for dinner — pterodactyl nuggets!'

"That's a plain burger and black coffee? But what kind of plain burger and what kind of black coffee?"

Stratigraphy

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

'The Specials are the same as the Main Menu dishes, but with more florid descriptions.'

The proper term for our special promotion is Triple Cheeseburger with a Gazillion fries...not the triple bypass special!

"Look out, Luke Grasswalker! Irascibility leads to the dark side of the force. . . right into a hamburger bun."

The miracle of 2-for-1 pizza.

"Bob, you're just not selling me on you essential hamburgerness."

'The two-pounds-burger menu includes chips, a large drink and an arteriosclerosis treatment.'

'Waiter, I think my wife's calamari is underdone.'

'I knew we should have brought your Marigolds, dear!'

Sushi Train Spotters

Supermarket Aisles: 'Good for the Environment' and 'Couldn't give a flying F@$#! about the environment!'

'Come on, eat your spinach.' -' Sorry, I'm on a special diet...No toxic waste.'