Fast Food Aficionado Gifts

'The 'Humungo Meal' comes with your choice of 2 sides...heart disease, high blood pressure, diabetes or obesity.'

'Oh yeah...a diet soda, too.'

Einstein Grill.

'Is it me or is it a bad idea to eat at a place that prints CPR instructions on their placemats?'

'Well done son. You've put on another inch since last week.'

''Fasting' doesn't mean eating fast food!'

Overzealous health inspectors.

'Sir, the drive-thru colonoscopy center is next door - but good for you for having it done.'

"I guess it's an OK job. Minimum wage plus all you can eat. I tried to quit once but couldn't get out the door."

'Clearly my client would be slim, healthy and attractive if MacBurger had adequately warned him of the dangers of eating every scrap of food in their restaurant.'

'Come on, make it snappy I haven't got all day,'

Burger chef measuring a man's mouth for size.

' ... and a side order of statins.'

"Don't sweat the Castilian pronunciation."

Fat food.

Teenage Angst.

Evolving quickly.

'So that's five loaves and two fishes---do you want curly fries and a diet Pepsi with that?'

'What have you got?'

'They say pot makes you less motivated, but I've already been to Taco Bell eleven times today.'

'Whatever fast food - fried stuff, fat, sugar, salt for the 'Doesn't Bother Me' person'.

"Whatever is quickest - I'm starving!"

Bad For You: A Restaurant

'Maybe this wasn't such a good idea...'

'Suing the fast food industry didn't work, I'm still fat'

'Has it ever ocurred to you that I just might like a jumbo burger, fries and a shake?'

"Fancy a take-a-way tonight ?"

Surge pricing at the burger place.

Not eating natural foods because most people die of natural causes.

The parting of the pizza

"Of course it's raw, I'm not a magician!"

'Give me some meat-like substance on some wheat-like substance with a side of deep-fried starch sticks and a small carbonated, flavoured liquid sugar!'

Fast Nouvelle Cuisine.

'It's a good source of calcium and contains plenty of flabonoids.'

Police escort for a pizza delivery vehicle