Fashionable Sorcerer Pillows

Hairspray witch

'Needs salt!'

'I know one of my shoulders is lower than the other. It's because my father's guiding hand is always on that shoulder.'

Artist's Equipment Comes To Life

"This realm isn't big enough for both of our killer outfits."

'Beer brewery? No, I wanted the witches brew! Damn GPS.'

"I was doing well in school and planning to be a computer programmer - but somewhere along the way I must have taken a wrong turn."

"What a load of hocus-pocus!"

"All your throw pillows were in knots."

"Victims of out-sorcery."

'I'll place the bets. You just be sure to hit the hare with the tranquilizer.'

"You think you're so damn Cordon Bleu!"

'There's been an update. Instead of abracadabra, it's option/control key.'

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

'What? When you cross a footballer with a mythical creature? A centaur forward!'

Try typing "wishes," then hold down the "command" key.

'What's the situation about new wands these days?' - 'You can't beat 'compare wands.com.'

First aid: A wizard has a bandage on his finger with turban on it.

"What a midfield wizard!"

'You can be replaced by Harry Potter, you know!'

'Hmm, wrong bottle. I guess THIS one must've been the Elixir of Death...'

How did that enchantment go again? Must I spell out everything for you?!

"Sorry we're traveling this weekend."

Moments Later, David Blaine Would Be Crushed Into Nothingness.

"He's done it your majesty! He's turned lead into a screenplay!"

Saxophone summoning.

"You have a rent in your invisibility cloak."

'. . . but I didn't belong to the union, so a scab stole my job!!'

'I don't care WHO started it!'

"Making your own potions is old fashioned. I order mine online and pop it into the microwave!"

Heavenwood

"Bob’s just finishing the last chapter of his unauthorized autobiography."

'It's her own fault, she was texting at the time.'

Hammer Drill

Makeup! Makeup! Makeup!