Fashionable Sorcerer Pillows

Hairspray witch

'Needs salt!'

'I know one of my shoulders is lower than the other. It's because my father's guiding hand is always on that shoulder.'

Artist's Equipment Comes To Life

"This realm isn't big enough for both of our killer outfits."

'Beer brewery? No, I wanted the witches brew! Damn GPS.'

"All your throw pillows were in knots."

"What a load of hocus-pocus!"

"Victims of out-sorcery."

"I was doing well in school and planning to be a computer programmer - but somewhere along the way I must have taken a wrong turn."

'I'll place the bets. You just be sure to hit the hare with the tranquilizer.'

"You think you're so damn Cordon Bleu!"

'There's been an update. Instead of abracadabra, it's option/control key.'

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

'What's the situation about new wands these days?' - 'You can't beat 'compare wands.com.'

First aid: A wizard has a bandage on his finger with turban on it.

"What a midfield wizard!"

'What? When you cross a footballer with a mythical creature? A centaur forward!'

'You can be replaced by Harry Potter, you know!'

'Hmm, wrong bottle. I guess THIS one must've been the Elixir of Death...'

Saxophone summoning.

"He's done it your majesty! He's turned lead into a screenplay!"

"Sorry we're traveling this weekend."

'. . . but I didn't belong to the union, so a scab stole my job!!'

"Making your own potions is old fashioned. I order mine online and pop it into the microwave!"

"Bob’s just finishing the last chapter of his unauthorized autobiography."

Heavenwood

"You have a rent in your invisibility cloak."

'I don't care WHO started it!'

'It's her own fault, she was texting at the time.'

Hammer Drill

'Get the person with the best imagination to write our Earnings Report.'

Makeup! Makeup! Makeup!