Fashion-unsavvy Gifts

'...I knew I shouldn't have worn this tie!'

'How many blummin' shades of black ARE there?'

'This associate has a first rate mind...and a third rate suit.'

Men's Department. I want a tie that says, "I hate ties."

"Remember - this meeting never happened, we never met, and you never wore that tie with that jacket."

"What's my collar size?"

"Someone's been sending me J. Crew catalogues."

'At least we don't have to worry about getting those as gifts.'

That suit of yours is pretty appalling.

Down at the Local Baa-Baa Shop

"No no no! Stripes are soooo half-past four!"

How to dress for forty below...if you're over forty, or under twenty.

'I got dressed in the dark.'

"A lacklustre style got me where I am, and a lacklustre style is going to keep me here."

Douglas Stuart

My tailor can't seem to accept the fact that I've grown as a person.

"Wise up. You and me do not make a ferret craze."

"How weird is it?"

"Don't use that card, it clashes with your tie"

Three Unwise Men

'I'd rather be wearing a plain white t-shirt.'

'Everything checks out ok, Mrs. Winslow, except your clothes.'

Men wearing loud shirts are the first loaded onto airplane.

"You're not going out wearing that tie with that shirt are you?"

"You're all confused again Edith. This is a SWEATER shop!"

Her man-repellent jumper was delightfully effective.

'You say that 35,- is too much for this ugly shirt? Okay, just give me 20 bucks and I'll keep the bloody thing!'

I want a tie that says I hate ties.

Men's wear, guy hiding under rack.

"Is it true that cures the coronavirus?"

'When will you learn, you can't buy a suit off the rack?'

'Perhaps I should rethink this whole Iron Man look!'

The disaster that is crotchless beekeeping outfits...

New for parents of teenage girls: plastic foam midriff cover-up spray.

Fashion Don'ts Support Group.