Fashionably Indifferent Gifts

"A lacklustre style got me where I am, and a lacklustre style is going to keep me here."

'How many blummin' shades of black ARE there?'

"Many of us are worrying, Brother Daniel, that you've become too clothes conscious."

"We missed Fashion Week!"

'This associate has a first rate mind...and a third rate suit.'

'The kids were rebelling against the new school uniform policy, so we had to make some design changes.'

"Memo from the top, guys. Apparently the 'casual dress days' are getting a little out of hand"

'Who's gonna tell her she's wearing two different shoes?'

"Take it. It's the dress code."

"Someone's been sending me J. Crew catalogues."

"What do you consider your most attractive feature and what are you doing about it?"

'At least we don't have to worry about getting those as gifts.'

"I think whatever's going to happen next has already happened."

"Well which do you think is more likely, your pillow is growing hair or you're losing yours?"

Dad Socks / Dad Sex

"I'm trying to be myself and you're not helping."

"No no no! Stripes are soooo half-past four!"

How to dress for forty below...if you're over forty, or under twenty.

"Sorry, I'm late but my mother couldn't make up her mind what I should wear here."

"May I remind you, Oxley, that in this company we start work at nine and we dress for success."

"Wise up. You and me do not make a ferret craze."

Guess what pants I'm wearing on this Zoom call.

"Done at last. Are you ready to head out?"

Ask me about my thick neck.

Three Unwise Men

"There are no words for the Olympian heights of my dizzying indifference to you."

Her man-repellent jumper was delightfully effective.

'You say that 35,- is too much for this ugly shirt? Okay, just give me 20 bucks and I'll keep the bloody thing!'

'Everything checks out ok, Mrs. Winslow, except your clothes.'

Men's wear, guy hiding under rack.

"Is it true that cures the coronavirus?"

Whaddaya know - "Made in hell by former sweatshop owners."

'Perhaps I should rethink this whole Iron Man look!'

'Thanks for pointing out that I'm wearing odd shoes but don't worry, I have another pair at home just like them...'

'Pssst. Does my bum look big in this?'