Fashion Pun Enthusiast Pillows

"He only wears it this time of the year. It's his har-vest."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"It can't be much of a life working all day, but at least he gets to wear a stripey jersey."

"He refuses to use these now they've made them gender nonspecific."

'I see adventure in your future. Yes. You're going to be a culinary adventure.'

Carpool lane (a car driving into a long pool).

Kind- hearted, nature-loving Jeff built a new improved bird table.

No, that's "Virginia Wolf" with one "o."

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?

Ghost Scare-apy Sessions

'Oil painting is fine, but I can't do watercolours, obviously...'

I was starting a new chapter in my life and I tripped over a footnote.

'And in conclusion...'

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

'I'm writing you a prescription for some people soup.'

"And another thing, it's real cool in the summer!"

'According to his will, Tiddles left the bulk of his estate to himself. Because, he still has eight lives left.'

'In the circumstances, I think we should skip the housewarming party.'

"I washed my kilt last night , now I can't do a fling with it!"

'I collect a different type of oil painting.'

'You give me goose bumps!'

Weather forecast

Persian

"Your four-o'clock is here."

"I said, ‘I hit on your sister!’"

"Of course you're bored, sweetie. It's the fin de siècle."

Hell's Schlegel

"Waiter, there aren't any flies in my soup!"

The static electric eel is very rare.

It's not a stampede … It's a flash mob!

'It's for my teacher. Do you have one with love spelled right?'

'No, I said put the money in the Caymen Islands.'

"Remember I promised you some fun and games in the bedroom?"

A robber halds up a hair salon with a hairdryer pointed at the customers - 'Hand over all your hair restorer or I'll blow you away!'

I'm starting to think you keep working on that thing just to avoid talking to me.